Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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