I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
