As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
