come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
