The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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