hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
