WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
