from now on my penis is your penis
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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