Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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