wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He has the fingertips of a God
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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