i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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