I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No subtext here. People are naked.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize