At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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