theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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