My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
