This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
