i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
