okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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