Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
