apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
