he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
