You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
