I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My balls are so social today.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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