since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
