This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
