How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
