i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
