How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
