Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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