hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
