Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
