Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
