so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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