Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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