Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
