Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
