what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
