I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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