You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
