If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
