Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
