on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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