He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
