nut hugger
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
