The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
