Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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