that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just pee around me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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