I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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