just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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