She said her name was "party"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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