i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
