I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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