Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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