It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
