So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
