still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
