she looked like the before picture.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize