You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
