If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
