Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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