im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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