so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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