I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
