Pappa wants mamma naked
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize