Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
