kristin has been a bad kristin
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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